From the newlyweds I've talked to, I've gathered that most everyone shares pregnancy fear for the first year of marriage. I'm not too embarrassed to say that over the past three months, I have freaked out a few times. Anytime things down in woman town are the tiniest bit *off* I convince myself that I'm pregnant.
My saint of a husband always calms me down and reassures me that the chances are slim, but that God will work through any situation- even if it means a baby. I then pout like a three year old and tell him he's wrong. Yeah- I'm lucky he puts up with it.
This past week, I had my monthly scare. This time, I decided that instead of waiting it out, I'd go ahead an take a pregnancy test. Ya know... just to shut my brain up.
I snuck into Walgreens, praying no one I knew was there. Piddled a bit, just to keep attention off me and then quickly grabbed the first test I saw. As I made my way to the counter, I had another freak out. The main (and only) cashier was a guy I'd had before. A guy who ALWAYS asks about what I'm buying and how I'm doing, etc. Any other day, I would indulge his friendliness, but conversation was the LAST thing I wanted with the fate of my uterus on the line.
Just as I started to sweat, a sweet girl tapped me on the shoulder. In a kind, reassuring voice she said, "I can check you out at cosmetics, if you'd like."
She smiled sweetly and rang up the test. No awkward conversation or consolation. It was wonderful.
Okay- fast forward to my apartment ten minutes later. I have drank my WEIGHT in sweet tea at this point and decide to go for it. And for the record, peeing on a stick is challenging. Even with the fancy thumb grip. Yuck.
Of course, hubs was right. Not pregnant. Figures, since I've taken my pill religiously since day 1.
And while the story ends happily (for us, for now) I still can't confidently say I won't have the same freak out next month. Am I some sort of freak? Probably. But at least I'm not pregnant.
Disclaimer: I LOOOOOVE babies. Love them. Want tons of them. Just not right now. Don't read into this post as ungrateful or anti-baby.